Trust

Gepubliceerd op 30 april 2021 om 13:36

Trust is not just my friend...its a fifth limb.
I was born with it and I have never lost it. 
Might have misplaced it a few times, might have forgotten...but it was never lost. 

I don't wear my heart on my sleeve, as the saying goes, I have it in my hands, just like this painting. 
Its in my hands and I give it to you. Freely. Always. To almost anyone and everyone I encounter. 
I say almost, because aggression scares me...it makes me recoil. 
But under any normal circumstance its like this painting: my heart is out there, here it is, have it. 

It's a conscious choice I make. Or at least I think it is.
Maybe it's not, maybe it's just the only option I have. 
Whatever the case...I don't fight it. It's me. 
As far back as I can remember it has always been like that, my heart, out there for the taking. 
Did that ever get me hurt? Cause me pain?
Oh gosh you bet it did! 
It got battered, bashes, kicked around, torn and a few times even broken. 
But I never shied away from that. I never ever considered to
safely tuck it away behind the bars of my ribcage.  
'Cause it may be my ribcage...its a cage nonetheless. 
I will not let my heart be caged away. 

So yeah, I fall and bleed, get scratched and ache. But I honestly don't  mind. I don't mind enough to change who I am. 
(not at all sure if I could if I wanted to) 
John Frusciante calls this 'the will to death' ...at least, that's what I think he means by that. 
The willingness to be obliterated.
The willingness to disappear into the darkest shadows of life, or stand in the full naked sunlight.   
Uncaged. 
Unhinged...though I wish I had done more of that, life just did not lead me there. The path before me was never that rocky or winding. It did not lead to many dangers or darks. 
I may have some regrets there..not having chosen the big unknowns more often, not having carved paths that could have lead me to dire deaths or brighter lights. 
Maybe letting myself get distracted to look at what was in front of me.
Then again, it was in front of me..possibly for good reasons. 
Life is what you make it...sure, but it also is as simple as that what is in front of you. 
And there is a certain greatness in that. 
Fiery gorgeous heart wrenching greatness. 

I trust. 
I trust in this life that is in front of me. 
I trust my feeling, my emotion and even my sentiments. 
I trust you. 
I trust the world. 
I trust people. 

Trust is my limb, but it is also my choice. 
A choice I stand by even if it crushes me. 
'Specially when it crushes me. 
Trust me, all will heal. If it takes a lifetime, or two...it will heal. In fact everything is always whole...because energy can never be not whole. Its inherently whole. Interconnected. 
One. 

Be one. 
Live. 
Love. 
<3
Inge



art: "hand on heart," by Carolina Gutierrez

I absolutely love this painting. To show a real heart and make it something you look at, not away from. And those hands, perfect hands... that is a work of love and perfect art to me. 


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