Sssssht...I need the world to be quiet...hold its breath for a bit ...let it find a place in my soul where it can stay.
This book...this book!
The courage to have the book end where the world wants it to start is immense.
Instead it unfolds to a ferociously honest tale of a 'little man' and all the wee but impressive bits that shape his life.
The yearning for something to grab onto to stop the spinning ...even if only for a little while.
Or to purposely let go, because the spinning is as inevitable as the jump off of the bridge.
Detesting and welcoming the nausea it brings, knowing that it is all life, it is all feeling. (or the attempt to deflect feeling, which of course is feeling it just the same)
Feeling lost, getting lost within feelings and happenings, one after the other, again and again with the gripping fear of not being loved and safe.
Yet to know the shimmer of that light that lays deep inside is real.
For me its so easy to identify with the stubborn will to live (and the will to death) with eyes and heart wide open. The unwithering faith and deep knowing that love is the only way. That only love IS.
“Everything that is not love is cowardice.”
However rigorously hard the world makes it to trust that.
Or however hard we seek to experiment, question it, test it..warp it, hurt it, damage it.
Always pursuing the very edge - and sometimes go over - to know where you belong. Finding no gratification in staying away from that edge, where it may be safe but is also a living kind of death.
Oh to be young again!
Thank you Michael Peter Balzary for this incredible book.
How I would love to share a cup of tea with you Australian American Los Angeles street adventurist, grown up to be the bass god and the wonderful loving living feeling whole magnificent man you are.
Thank you from my heart to yours.